I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
