somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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