oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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