Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
