Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
sarcasm needs its own font
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
