between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
