Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
