we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize