This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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