Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
