She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
