Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
