I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
