Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
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at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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