Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
