I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
