Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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