I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
