You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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