you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
