That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
