Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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