if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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