How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize