Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
