i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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