he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
