Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
