OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just invented taco cereal.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
