There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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