You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
