I wanna bring you to show and tell
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
