i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
