Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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