The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
