I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
