I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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