Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
