Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
