Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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