Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You made out with two different species that night
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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