god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
