The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
