I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize