And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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