I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
