im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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