We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
