I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
