his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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