pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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