i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
