i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
