In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
They have beer where we have blood.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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